Finding a New Normal

It's been over a month since I wrote anything here... and I hope to never have another month like that ever ever again. I have almost posted something over and over again, but it never worked out. It was like being in my own version of Goldilocks - some thoughts were TOO serious, some were TOO sad, and anything that was funny... well that seemed inappropriate somehow. As if having humor in the midst of grief was forbidden.  Stupid, I know, but that was how I felt.  But I HAVE to get back to it... I have too many random thoughts wandering around in my brain as it is.  I need to let some of them out to run amok. (Did you know that the word "amok" is Malaysian and means "a murderous frenzy"?? Scary thing - some of my thoughts qualify) SO!  Today I will be discussing the events of the past month and how I am now finding a "new normal" in life.

Family: My uncle had a stroke and passed away.  This took place over a two week period, and I was in Tennessee/SWVA for most of it. My aunt had to be placed in full time nursing home care. My mom and I had to take over all POA responsibilities for her. My new normal for family consists of recurrent dreams where my uncles and grandmother die again (and again), waking up to realize that they are still gone, wishing I didn't have to sleep, endless phone calls to {fill in the blank with insurance/bank/government/healthcare providers} who continually tell me there are 100 more hoops to jump through, and guilt trips over not doing enough for the two guys who truly ARE the center of my existence. 

Around the House: I got home on Sunday.  On Tuesday, our neighborhood dog, Harley, was hit by a car and killed. My new normal around the house means getting used to pulling in my driveway without worrying about where she is, JC skateboarding without his constant companion, and an empty silence in the night where I usually heard barking at strangers... or deer... or blowing leaves.  She liked to bark. :)

ShrimpSlayer: To add insult to injury, I accidentally tipped over JC's tank of SeaMonkeys that Santa brought him.  Down the sink.... Yes, I know they are just brine shrimp. Yes, I know you can buy more at the TRU. (thanks grammy & g-daddy for making that trip!) But it was the proverbial camel's straw.  I had to just lay my head down and cry. In my defense, they were really cool.  And lots were big. And after an episode where (as JC says) they were "stuck together"... one had an egg sac and I was waiting for babies. And then I knocked them into the garbage disposal. My new normal on this one - my son was unaffected, -ron and I have started a new tank, and my co-workers have an all new way to give me a hard time. If you're reading this - thanks MBW, AH, and CF for cracking me up.

Enough with the mostly serious stuff.  I have my eye on something that I REALLY need to comment on... but I have to take a picture so y'all will believe it.  That's coming soon!

If you actually were dedicated and made it this far - leave a comment... it'll give me a giggle.

Mo